SithVamp Reviews: Hofeher

Welcome to another episode of SithVamp Reviews. Here are two facts about me: I’m from Hungary and I love cartoons. And there was a time, when we Hungarians were making loads of animated shows and films. The 1970s and 1980s were the Golden Age of Hungarian Animation. We had a lot of great cartoon shows such as Mézga Család (Mézga Family), Pom-Pom meséi (Tales of Pom-Pom), Vízipók Csodapók (Water Spider Wonder Spider), Nagy Ho-Ho-Ho Horgász (The Great Fi-Fi-Fi Fisherman), Gusztáv (Gustavus), Frakk a Macskák Réme (Frakk: Nightmare of Cats) or Dr. Bubo; and animated movies like Vuk, Szaffi, Macskafogó (Cat City in English), János Vitéz, Lúdas Matyi or Hófehér.

Sadly, that time is over. The most famous Hungarian animation studio: Pannónia Studios closed down long ago, and there hasn’t been any Hungarian cartoon shows on TV or animated films in theaters for years. The last Hungarian animated movies came out in the late 2000s, but they were either mediocre (Macskafogó 2) or a complete disaster with both critics and audiences (Kis Vuk). But today, I’ll be looking at one of the movies from the Golden Age of Hungarian Animation: a rather twisted take on the story of Snow White: Hófehér.

Hófehér came out in 1984. The movie opens with some Queens accidentally sticking needles in their fingers and wishing for having a baby, and then we see the Castle, where the story mostly takes place. Here, we see the Queen, Lady Konstans Fridzsider lay on the bed. Fridzsider is so bored out of her wits that she can’t even get out of bed. Then one of the handmaidens, Arrogancia enters. She informs Fridzsider that it’s time for her to have a baby, and suggests that she should stick a needle in her finger. But the reason why Fridzsider is so bored is because her husband, the old King: Leó Oroszlánszagú (Lion-odor) the Last is spending more time playing with his chickens.

Then Arrogancia goes to her friend, the Royal Alchemist, Professor Tutegál, to get a poisoned needle from him. She then goes back to Fridzsider’s room and gives her the needle. As you can imagine, while she’s sewing, Fridzsider pokes her finger with the needle and quickly dies, but not before saying she wants a child with white hair and red eyes. After Fridzsider dies, news start spreading that the Royal Baby is on its way. Arrogancia then returns to Tutegál’s laboratory, but Tutegál is not happy that Arrogancia killed Fridzsider, because she would have died of boredom anyway in a couple of years. Then he and Arrogancia decide that they’ll tell the King that Fridzsider died in childbirth. Arrogancia then tells Tutegál to create a test-tube baby, before the King would find out that Fridzsider died. Tutegál says he’ll do this if Arrogancia kisses his elbow (which she does).

Then we see Tutegál working in his lab on the new baby. He makes a serum and puts this serum into the egg of one of the King’s chickens. Outside, the Count announces that at 4:30 pm the Royal Baby will be born, and Tutegál returns to the Queen’s room to show Arrogancia the baby he created. Then, at night, old King Leó is waiting for the birth of the baby. Then Arrogancia comes out of Fridzsider’s room with the baby. King Leó is shocked to learn that the baby is a girl, so he gets angry and decides to kill Fridzsider. Arrogancia gives the baby to one of the Knights, who finds the baby so ugly that it makes him faint. King Leó enters the room, but Arrogancia and Tutegál tell him that the Queen has already died of childbirth. King Leó is sad, but then Arrogancia says that she’ll be his new Queen. King Leó agrees to marry Arrogancia. All the while, the abandoned ugly baby, who later will be known as Hófehér, slowly crawls away.

Yes, Arrogancia becomes the new queen and first she and King Leó eat plants, but then one day, one of the servants bring a sausage. First, King Leó is outraged that Arrogancia is eating meat, but then she feeds him the sausage and the King says he wants more meat, much to the horror of his chickens. Then Arrogancia leaves the King’s room, and meets the new Royal Hunter: Szatiro, who falls in love with Arrogancia from the moment he sees her. But then Arrogancia tells Szatiro that she’s the Queen, and tells him to kill all of the King’s chickens. But she promises Szatiro that once King Leó dies, he can become the new King.

Then we see the other major characters of the movie: The Seven Dwarfs, who, in this movie, are named after the days of the Week: Hétfő (Monday), Kedd (Tuesday), Szerda (Wednesday), Csütörtök (Thursday), Péntek (Friday), Szombat (Saturday), and their leader, Vasárnap (Sunday). These Dwarfs can turn into Garden Gnomes, when a giant or a human is approaching. Not only that, but each Dwarf looks like someone from the Castle:
- Vasárnap looks like King Leó
- Szombat looks like Tutegál
- Péntek looks like the Count
- Csütörtök looks like the Chef
- Szerda looks like Szatiro
- Kedd looks like the Blacksmith
- And Hétfő looks like the Prince of the movie: Prince Alfonz
Anyway, we see the Dwarfs wake up and go to work in the mine.

Back at the castle, we see Szatiro in Tutegál’s lab, and Tutegál shows him a mirror, and tells Szatiro that the mirror can make wishes come true. Then Tutegál goes to the Count’s room, where the Count tells him it’s time to put King Leó out of his misery. The King’s birthday is coming up, so the Count decides to throw a big feast. Tutegál agrees, then he returns to his lab. We learn that the magic mirror is actually Tutegál’s parrot, and he repeats to Tutegál what Szatiro said: he wants to be the new King and marry Arrogancia.

Then we see the Dwarfs again, who are working in the mine, and we see that instead of digging jewels out of the ground, the Dwarfs melt down gold, silver and jewelry, and smash diamonds. Back at the castle, Hófehér is still homeless. She eats some meat in the Royal Pantry, until the Chef discovers her and throws her out. Hófehér starts crying until the Blacksmith finds her and takes her under his wing.

Then we cut to the Royal Diner, where King Leó is stuffed full, but Arrogancia insists that he should eat more (she wants to feed him to death). Then the servants bring a big Chicken Cake cooked in butter with garlic, cream and pepper, made from King Leó’s favorite Chicken: Kolumba, and Arrogancia forces the King to eat a slice. When the old King finishes eating, he slowly exits the diner, and when the door closes, his overstuffed belly pops and he dies. Now that King Leó is dead too, Arrogancia declares herself to be the new Queen.

Arrogancia is crowned Queen, but Szatiro is in for a big surprise: Arrogancia tells him to remove the King’s throne. Szatiro is pissed off, because Arrogancia lied to him. He enters Tutegál’s lab, telling him that he’ll kill Arrogancia for lying to him. But Tutegál tells Szatiro that Arrogancia will change her mind eventually. We then see Hófehér again, who hits the Blacksmith’s anvil so hard with the hammer that it breaks in half. This is enough for the Blacksmith to throw Hófehér out. Hófehér has nowhere to go once again. The next stop for Hófehér is Tutegál’s lab. Tutegál lets her in and offers her an apple if she kisses him on the elbow. Hófehér bites Tutegál’s elbow and he immediately chases her out. But in the end, Hófehér does find something that she’s good at: she becomes the Castle’s janitor.

We then see Arrogancia holding a meeting with the Royal Council (consisting of Tutegál, Szatiro, the Count and the Executioner). Arrogancia wants to make herself Empress, and to do this, she has to make her Kingdom into an Empire: the army must conquer another Kingdom. Arrogancia decides to conquer the neighboring Kingdom: Retrográd. Unfortunately, there are just four soldiers in Arrogancia’s army, whereas the army of Retrográd consists of 101 soldiers. Arrogancia is not pleased to hear this, but Tutegál comes up with another plan: he suggests that instead of waging war against Retrográd, Arrogancia should marry the King of Retrográd: Edgar Cukorbeteg (Diabetic). Arrogancia agrees with Tutegál’s plan, and then he makes a picture of Arrogancia out of apple slices.

Then we see the Prince of the movie: Prince Alfonz, son of King Edgar of Retrográd. Alfonz spots the Dwarves, who turned into Garden Gnomes, and he asks one of the Dwarves, Hétfő about the nearest castle. For a while, Hétfő stays in Gnome form until Alfonz yells in his ears. Vasárnap sees this, so he turns back to Dwarf form, shows Alfonz where the next castle is, then he and the other Dwarves continue their journey home.

At the castle, we see Hófehér (who got bigger and bulkier) cleaning the castle’s floors, but sees that Szatiro is messing up the floor with his muddy shoes and the blood of the dead boar he caught, so she kicks him and he lands in the kitchen. Then Alfonz arrives and is enchanted to see Hófehér. He follows Hófehér inside the kitchen, and while she’s working, Alfonz asks for her hand (he uses that expression). And here’s where we also find out that not only is Hófehér super-strong but also dumb. She thinks Alfonz literally wants to marry her hand. Alfonz then leaves, but promises to be back for Hófehér, who seems to be more interested in Alfonz’s horse: Monszenyőr.

However, Arrogancia sees all of this, and orders Hófehér to her room. Hófehér goes to the Queen’s room and when she tells Arrogancia that the visitor was Alfonz, she secretly gets jealous, and sends Hófehér away. Then Szatiro enters Arrogancia’s room, asking her to do something with Hófehér, because he thinks she’s a menace to the castle. And this is when the movie starts feeling like the original Snow White story: Arrogancia tells Szatiro to kill Hófehér in the woods and bring her severed head in a bag. And if Szatiro fails, Arrogancia will have him executed.

Then we see Szatiro taking Hófehér out to the forest, and first he tries to shoot her with his crossbow, then stab her with his dagger, but always fails. And when he jumps her to strangle her, Hófehér slaps Szatiro and throws him into a tree, because she thinks he wants to rape her. Szatiro then comes clean, saying that he wanted to kill Hófehér and take her head to Arrogancia, and if he doesn’t she’ll kill him. Since he failed his assignment, Szatiro decides to exile himself from the Kingdom and tells Hófehér to do the same. Since Szatiro’s leg broke, Hófehér breaks off a branch and gives it to Szatiro as a crutch. Szatiro then walks off, never to be seen again. Hófehér heads into the forest too.

We then see the Dwarfs again, who are heading home from another day at the mine, when suddenly it starts raining. The Dwarfs run home through the storm and are shocked to discover that someone is in their house! They go inside and find Hófehér. The Dwarfs are not happy to see Hófehér, but she’s oblivious to this, so she lets them in the house and offers them tea with rum. Unfortunately, this ends with all the Dwarfs getting drunk. Then we see the Dwarfs being drunk until Hófehér sends them off to bed. Back at the Castle, Tutegál enters Arrogancia’s room and finds that Arrogancia is upset, because the King of Retrográd made apple-sauce out of her apple-slice picture and Alfonz loves Hófehér. This is when Arrogancia decides to become an alcoholic.

The next morning the Dwarfs leave their house to go to work, while Hófehér stays behind to clean. While the Dwarfs discuss whether they should let Hófehér stay with them, Hófehér ends up accidentally destroying the Dwarfs’ house. And when the Dwarfs return home, they’re shocked to find that their house has been destroyed and replaced with a house Hófehér built. The Dwarfs immediately confront Hófehér and demand answers from her. She says that she accidentally destroyed the Dwarfs’ house and threw all their furniture and belongings out. Then she leads the Dwarfs inside the house to give them dinner. After that, the Dwarfs go upstairs to think of a plan how to get rid of Hófehér, because she’s a menace to them too.

Back at the castle, Arrogancia is drunk and is crying over Alfonz, when suddenly Tutegál comes up with a plan: he decides to give Arrogancia a makeover so she can win Alfonz’s heart. The next day the Dwarfs secretly head to the castle, because they know that Arrogancia is the only one who can help them. The Dwarfs enter the throne room and are astonished to see how beautiful Arrogancia is. They tell her their problem and Arrogancia agrees to help them. Arrogancia decides to kill Hófehér with the poisoned needle she used to kill Queen Fridzsider earlier. Tutegál tries to tell Arrogancia not to go, because Hófehér is super strong, but the Queen doesn’t listen and she rides off to the Dwarfs’ house. Tutegál secretly follows her.

At the Dwarfs’ house, Hófehér is baking an apple pie, when Arrogancia arrives. Hófehér offers Arrogancia a slice of apple pie, which she eats and then she passes out. Then the Dwarfs arrive and are horrified to see the passed out Arrogancia. They think that Hófehér killed Arrogancia, so they start to mourn the Queen. Then Prince Alfonz shows up too to pick up Hófehér, but then he sees Arrogancia lay on the ground. Everyone thinks Arrogancia is dead, until Tutegál shows up. He asks what happened, and Hófehér says she fed Arrogancia some apple pie. The apple pie included baking powder. Tutegál reveals that Arrogancia is allergic to baking powder and that’s why she passed out. He then revives Arrogancia with some vinegar. The Dwarfs are happy that the Queen lives again. Alfonz then chooses Arrogancia instead of Hófehér and rides off with her.

Tutegál then tries to talk some sense into Hófehér, saying that she’s the rightful heir to her kingdom, but Hófehér refuses to go, because she likes staying with the Dwarfs. Tutegál tries to convince Hófehér that the Dwarfs were the ones who hired Arrogancia to kill her, but Hófehér is dumb and stubborn and refuses to believe this. Seeing that he’s getting nowhere with her, Tutegál leaves Hófehér and goes back to the castle. And the movie ends with the Dwarfs, who start feeling sorry for Hófehér when they hear her cry, so they go to comfort her. Hófehér hugs the Dwarfs.

And that’s Hófehér. What do I think of it? Well, let me tell you: it has become one of my favorite Hungarian animated movies.

Good things:
- This is a very unique take on the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: in this movie not only is Snow White an ugly freak, but also super-strong and stupid and everyone hates her
- The voice cast of this movie consisted of some of the greatest Hungarian actors, like Ilona Béres, János Körmendi, Ferenc Kállai, Péter Haumann, Péter Balázs, Gyula Bodrogi, István Sztankay or Gyula Szombathy.

Bad things:
- While this is a funny movie, it can be quite dark at times

Favorite character:
- Professor Tutegál
- The Dwarfs
- Szatiro
- The Count
- Arrogancia
- The Chef
- The Executioner

Least favorite character:
- Nobody really. All the characters are funny.

So overall, I think Hófehér is a very good Hungarian animated film. I’m giving it 9 out of 10. See you next time on SithVamp Reviews.