A Tiny Toons Monster Mash Chapter 7

Then, all of a sudden, there was someone knocking on the door.
- I wonder who that could be – Elsa wondered.
- Are we expecting anyone? – Asked Frank.
- Nobody to my knowledge… - Said Drac. – Eegor, please check the door.
Igor went closer to the door, but he didn’t open it.
- Who’s there?
There was no answer.
- I didn’t hear any…
Then someone broke the door in, sending Igor flying across the room.
- What the heck?! – Babs said. Then she heard a sinister laugh. – That laugh… can it be...? Is it?!
Then she turned around and she, along with the other Toons saw who entered the castle: it was one of their worst enemies: Montana Max, the greedy, spoiled rich kid from Acme Acres!
- HAHAHAHA!!! – Monty cackled. – Hey there, Tiny-brained Toons!
- Monty! – Said Buster. – What are you doing here?!
- It ain’t only me, rabbit. I’ve brought some friends along. Come on in, guys!

Just then, the three modern monsters: the Jason-lookalike made of spaghetti, the green-skinned doll with the remote control and the Xenomorph-lookalike entered the castle.
- Trick or treat! Hahahaha!!! – The Jason-lookalike cackled.
- Who are you guys? – Asked Wolf.
- We’ve come to take your place, losers! – The Jason-lookalike replied. – I am Freddy D. Spaghetti! King of Carbohydrates!
Then he took some of his killer spaghetti-worms and threw them at Drac and Frank. The monsters dodged, but the spaghetti-worms ate one of the chairs.
- Like, whoa! – Shirley said. – Now that’s, like, one spicy meatball!
- And now let me present my associate – Freddy continued, as he pointed at the doll with the remote. – This is Chicky, the doll of destruction!
- Me Chicky. – The doll grinned. – Chicky wanna change the channel!
Then she pressed a button on her magic remote control. First the room turned into a cave full of spiders, then turned into a jungle full of dinosaurs. The Toons and the Monsters were scared. Then the room turned back to normal. Then Plucky spotted the Xenomorph-lookalike.
- And who’s that supposed to be? A Velociraptor from Jurassic Park?
- Wrong, Duck! – Said Monty. – That’s the Alien-Eater.
- Yeah. – Freddy added. – He joined us from another dimension.
The Alien-Eater hissed and growled.

Then Drac asked:
- Who sent you here?
- The Prosecutor of course! – Said Freddy. – He was wondering if you knew the time!
- Well, my watch says… – Said Wolf, looking at his watch, but then Freddy’s killer spaghetti-worms ate the watch. – Hey! Watch it, man! I got that for my 18th birthday!
- And what are *YOU* doing here, Monty? – Buster asked.
- I’ll tell ya what I’m doing here, rabbit: I’m here for the rights of the ownership of this stinkin’ rat-infested castle so it can become my new holiday house! Now hand over the keys!
- Never!
Buster punched Monty in the face and then yelled:
- Run!!!
- Dees vay! – Drac said.
Buster, Babs, Plucky, Hamton, Shirley, Fifi, Calamity, Drac, Frank, Wolf and Elsa started running. Freddy helped Monty up and said:
- After them! They can’t get away!
So Freddy, Monty, Chicky and the Alien-Eater ran after the good guys.

Then a chase began. The Toons and the Monsters were running up and down the corridors. Frank said:
- Come on, guys! I know a room where we can hide! It’s right behind this door!
He opened a door and the Toons and the Monsters saw a giant spider approaching them. Wolf quickly slammed the door. Then they ran to another door.
- Okay – Frank said. – Maybe it’s this door
He opened the door and this time, they saw King-Kong standing on top a skyscraper, holding a girl in his hand. Wolf closed the door again. Then they ran to another door.
- Maybe this is it – Frank said.
He opened the door, but this time the Toons saw something worse than what they saw behind the previous two doors: they saw Elmyra Duff!
- Ooh! Hi there, cutie-wooty fuzzy-wuzzy cuddly-wuddly heads! I’m gonna love you and hug you and squeeze you to pieces! You and those monster heads too!
Buster, Babs, Plucky, Hamton, Shirley, Fifi and Calamity all screamed loud and quickly slammed the door before Elmyra could get to them.
- Jeez – Plucky said. – That was close.
- Who was that little girl, Babs? – Asked Elsa.
- You really don’t wanna know, honey.
- Okay, now I got it! – Said Frank. – The room is at the end of the stairway! Come on! Follow me!
The Toons and the Monsters continued running upstairs, until they entered a room.

The room was completely empty, the only furniture in it was a closet. Wolf quickly shut the door. When he heard the bad guys banging on the door, Drac went to the closet:
- Quickly, everyone into the closet! Hurry!
- Drac, are you nuts?! – Asked Buster.
- They will look here first! – Added Fifi.
The Toons and the Monsters quickly hid in the closet. It turned out the closet was in fact an elevator. Drac said:
- And now, Toons, ve are about to go on a magic closet ride!
Frank tried to press the down button, but it didn’t work. Then he started hitting it, doing some damage to it
- Uh, or maybe not…
- WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! – Screamed Hamton.
- Like, get a hold of yourself, Hamton! – Snapped Shirley as she slapped Hamton’s face.
Then Calamity pulled Frank’s shirt and showed him a cable that was hanging from the button panel.
- You’re one smart coyote, Cal! – Said Frank.
Then he reconnected the cable and the closet elevator went down to the Castle Lab. As the elevator went down, Monty and the three bad monsters burst in the room.
- Aha! – Freddy yelled. – Now we gotcha, you… hey, where’d they go?!
- Chicky no find them!
- Then let’s split up and look for ‘em! They mustn’t get away!
- Search every corner of this stinkin’ castle! They got the papers and the key! – Yelled Monty.

In Frank’s room, Drac and Wolf quickly barricaded the door with some objects so the bad guys won’t get in. Unfortunately, Chicky, who ran by, heard them.
- Aha! Chicky hear something!
She peeked through the hole in the door and saw the Toons and the Monsters.
- Chicky wanna CHANGE CHANNEL!!! – She yelled. – Chicky want a nature show!
Then she pressed a button on her magic remote and the interior of the room turned into an ocean full of sharks. The Monsters and the Toons were terrified.
- You know, Buster, this is exactly what I dreamt of when I slept at your house and watched all those horror flicks…
- Don’t remind me, Plucky.
Outside, Chicky said:
- Chicky want a sport special!
Then she pressed her magic remote again. The sea and the sharks disappeared and turned into a basketball court instead. Frank threw a basketball to Fifi. When Fifi caught the ball, all of a sudden, it turned into an orange snake.
- Le EEEEEE!!! – Fifi screamed.
Soon, the entire basketball court was filled with snakes.
- Aww man – Wolf groaned while struggling with a snake – Why did it have to be snakes?!
Outside, Chicky was laughing.
- Hee hee hee! Chicky love that movie! Hahahaha!!!
She laughed so hard that the dropped the remote. Then she dropped on her back, still laughing, and accidentally pressed the remote again with her leg, causing the room inside to turn back to normal.

Inside, Hamton asked:
- Uh, what do we do now, Buster?
- What we should have done a long time ago!
- What do you mean, Bunny Boy? – Asked Wolf.
- What I mean is I’m sick of running away!
- Buster’s right. – Said Babs. – We can’t run away forever, we gotta put these jerks in their place!
- How are ve going to do that?
- Don’t worry, Drac, we know just what to do, don’t we Cal? – Then she and Calamity winked at each other. – C’mon, Toons, let’s get to work! Buster, Hammy, you prepare Drac! Fifi, Shirley, you groom Wolf! Cal, Plucky and I are gonna try and make Frank and Elsa’s machine work again!
So the Toons got to work. Babs, Calamity and Plucky attached pairs of jumper cables to Frank and Elsa’s neck-bolts, but Plucky accidentally got tangled up in the cables. Drac sat on a chair and Buster started spinning the chair very, very hard. And Shirley and Fifi started grooming Wolf. To make Frank and Elsa’s lightning machine active again, Calamity took a wrench and hit the machine with it hard. And it worked: the machine started filling up with electricity. Plucky had a worried look on his face:
- Uh, guys… I’m still here, tangled up…
Then the lightning bolts struck both Frank and Elsa. Even Plucky. Frank and Elsa started shaking as the volts were running through their bodies, while Plucky was screaming in agony. Drac was soon spinning so fast that his false fangs fell out. Hamton caught them and poured some glue on them. Then Buster shoved the false fangs back into Drac’s mouth, and the vampire did a few test-chomps and saw that his fangs no longer fell out of his mouth. Drac smiled and gave a thumbs-up to Buster and Hamton. Meanwhile, Shirley and Fifi were still grooming Wolf.
- Like, hold still, Wolf!
- Oui! How are we ever going to get you ready, if Vous, how you say, keep wiggling around?
- Okay, okay!
Then Fifi poured some hair tonic on Wolf’s hair. Then Wolf’s grey fur turned into brown again, like back in the old days.
- Wow! – Wolf cried. – Thanks, girls!
Soon, Babs and Calamity felt that Frank and Elsa had enough, so they turned off the machine. Frank and Elsa stood up and started flexing their muscles.
- Wow! – Frank said. – I feel strong again!
- Me too, Frank honey! – Added Elsa. – I feel like a female bodybuilder and pro-wrestler!
- That oughta keep you guys going for the next billion years or so – Said Babs.
- Thanks, guys. – Said Frank, smiling down on the pink bunny girl – Elsa and I haven’t had such a great shock treatment in years!
- What do you think, Plucky?
Being fried to a crisp, Plucky tiptoed towards Babs and said:
- It was electrifying… - Then he fell on the ground.
Just then, Calamity gave Drac a beaker.
- Oh, thank you, Calamity!
Then, the beaker was struck by lightning. It was filled with a potion mixed with moonlight. It was the final ingredient that the Monsters needed to bring back the real Horror of Old, when they were bad…
Outside the room, Freddy was clicking his knives and forks on his gloves, while Monty was chanting:
- Toons and Monsters, come out and play-yay… Toons and Monsters, come out and play-yay… Toons and Monsters, come out and play-yay… TOONS AND MONSTERS, COME OUT AND PLAY-YAY!!!
- Alright! – Wolf growled. – Let those jerks come! I ain’t afraid of them!
Just then, Monty, Freddy, Chicky and the Alien-Eater burst through the door.
- Alright, chumps! – Freddy snarled. – Let’s… - Then he, along with the other two monsters and Monty noticed that everything is losing their color and becomes black and white – Hey, what gives?!
- Why’s everything turning black and white?! – Monty asked in confusion.

While Freddy, Monty, Chicky and the Alien-Eater were confused, Frank, Drac, Wolf and Elsa were delighted.
- Splendeed! – Drac exclaimed. – Eet eez finally time for some good old-fashioned horror in classic black-and-white of course!
- Right! – Freddy growled. – Let’s show these unscary losers that *WE ARE* the greatest Monsters ever! Alien-Eater, CHARGE!!!
- Get ‘em, dude! – Monty yelled.
The Alien-Eater started charging at Frank and Elsa, chomping its teeth and snarling angrily. Frank stomped his foot, sending a shockwave through the castle floor, causing the Alien-Eater’s teeth to fall out. Then he gave the alien creature a powerful punch. The Toons watched in awe.
- Whoa! – Plucky said.
- This is, like, better than pro-wrestlin’ or some junk! – Shirley exclaimed.
Then Elsa grabbed the Alien-Eater by the tail and slammed it to the ground.
- Take that, you big ugly bug lizard!
Seeing that the Alien-Eater got its butt handed to it, Freddy said:
- Okay, Chicky, will you please be a dear and put that flea-bitten mutt to sleep?
- Chicky kill dog man!
Chicky jumped up and aimed her remote at Wolf, but the lycanthrope howled so loud that the remote control disintegrated.
- Hey, no fair! – Chicky cried.
Then Wolf picked up Chicky with his mouth and released the inner animal within him: he shook Chicky around in his mouth furiously like a dog. Chicky could only say:
- Chicky wanna change channel! Chicky wanna change channel!
That is, until all her limbs fell out, even her head. Then Wolf spit Chicky’s body out.
- Well, what are you waiting for, pasta-brain?! – Monty snapped at Freddy. – Get ‘em!
- GRRRR… FINE!!! I’ll take care of these guys myself!
Then Freddy released a fierce roar and began charging towards Drac. Freddy tried to pounce on Drac, but the Vampire flew up on the ceiling and then landed on Freddy’s back.
- Hey! – Freddy cried. – What are you doing, you crazy bat?! Get offa me!
Then Drac started sucking out all the spaghetti which Freddy’s body was made of. The Toons watched in awe. After a few seconds, Freddy managed to throw Drac off his back. He took a few menacing steps towards Drac, but then his clothes and mask fell on the floor completely empty.
- Excellent pasta. – Drac said, wiping his mouth with a handkerchief. – Just the way I like it: veethout garlic.
Monty looked around as his monster companions lay around him, defeated.
- Uh… uh… I uh…
Then Frank, Drac, Wolf and Elsa leaned towards him and said in unison:
- Boo!
Monty fainted and fell on the ground.

The Toons began cheering and ran to the Monsters.
- Way to go guys! – Cried Buster. – You totaled them!
- We couldn’t have done it without the help of you Toons! – Frank said.
The Monsters hugged the Toons, but then, the clock struck midnight and Wolf said:
- Uh, dudes, I hate to be a party pooper, but isn’t this celebration a little prematured? I mean those guys may be creamed, but we were supposed to scare the Toons, Remember?
- You’re right… - Drac sighed.
- Looks like we still flunk. – Said Frank.
- Oh sweet Samhain… - Elsa said, covering her face.
- Our days as Monsters are over. – Wolf said sadly.
The Monsters hung their heads in shame. They may have won the battle, but they lost the war…

To be continued…